Como

No, You don't want to go to Varesi, Lake Como is a much better choice. Mildred and George were seasoned travellers, having been to Australia eleven times. We loved Canberra, they assured us as they rose from their breakfast table. Como it is then!

Via Milan's metro, we arrived at Centrale. Two tickets to Lake Como Pour favoure, we asked the lady. Non, non, Upstairs, upstairs! Of course you can't get to Como by metro, we knew that much, but we didn't know you couldn't get tickets downstairs. Approaching the long line of Italians seeking tickets for regional and international destinations, I noticed a number of people were obtaining bigliettos from automatic machines nearby. Make sure you get return tickets, Diane had advised us, You may not be able to get tickets back to Milan from Como. A helpful local pressed the buttons for me as I looked on somewhat bewildered. Put notes in there. Some people are quite enterprising. All you have to do is stand around the Stazzione until a bewildered tourist turns up, and you help him for the gratuity of the price of a cup of coffee. Gratize mille!

In Italian railway stations you may not smoke within the halls and restaurants, however, once you have reached the platform, feel free to light up. Arriving and departing passengers gasp with relief upon reaching Area Fumatori! With the prospect of a 45 minute trip ahead of them, half a dozen desperates on platform 14 were intently dragging on sustaining fags.

Our 16 service to Como, terminating in Zurich, ran north through industrial suburbs followed by ascending forested lands beginning to change colour. Arriving, we walked through parks to Piazza Volta where we had views of the lake. A multicultural line of prospective passengers inspected the pricelist for the ferryride as we made our way towards the boat ~ Fifteen euros for a return trip to Bellagio. Seems reasonable. No, that fare is old, sixty euros for two return, and you will have to wait for the next service in one hour. I checked to see if his name was Benito. Even with the favourable exchange rate, seventy one dollars for a ferry ride is a bit steep!. Bellagio's elegant lakeside promenades and cafes will have to miss out on our patronage.

Fuming, we sat at a nearby cafe and replotted our day. Despite an occasional whiff of the nearby drains, we enjoyed a round of drinks as we watched vessels pass by George Clooney's nifty wooden hulled motorboat. Being too early for lunch, we passed on the cafe's menu and set off in the direction of the funicular, rated by Trip Advisor as the third most desirable of Como's attractions. The shade of the funicular terminal was welcoming as we paid our fare of five euros for the seven minute service running eighteen hours a day. Modern air-conditioned funicular cars run up the kilometre long track to Brunate, where the population swells in summer with tourists renting accommodation with views over Lake Como, some 500 metres below.

Alighting into the summer heat, we wandered about the mountain piazza that includes a funicular museum displaying previous steam and electrical driven mechanisms. Both of which would have fascinated Alessandro Volta who lived in Brunate for a short period. We thought Como would be cooler than Milano, but it is just as uncomfortable with an extremely humid atmosphere. Lunchtime had arrived and we took a table at a cafe with views across the lake and heavily populated surrounding mountain communes. The menu offered a range of local dishes including fresh lake carp, however I remained true to my quest to sample every pasta Italy has to offer, and settled for a truffle and porcini ravioli.

Beautiful children's boutiques and a 300 year old apothecary caught our attention as we made our way back towards the stazzione. Travel tip: For some reason (luxury tax?), pharmaceuticals and health products in Italy are poisonously expensive with deodorants costing 10 euros, Neurophen 8 euros and sunblock 14. I advise you to buy adequate supplies before you leave. Buses to Belaggio were filling as we entered the railway station bar where an icy round of Aperol and Prosecca cocktails refreshed us while we cooled our heels waiting for the 18.17 service back to Milano Centrale.

As the express bus to Malpensa Airport passed close to Porta Garibaldi, we noticed that windows that had earlier proclaimed Soldi ~ Discount 50% now featured New Collection 2013! The ride to Malpensa was swift with the crowded bus entertained by an elderly passenger who treated us all to his mobile conversation with his brickie. Snow capped mountains could be seen in the distance as the bus entered the autostrada gates to the airport. Nearby, fields of corn were ripe for harvesting in the record summer heat.